It's time to sign up the PhD examination, but I dare not browse the website for the reason I have no much confidence to try again. From last year to this year, so many things has happened to me, a lot of changes, which changed my body and spirits. The reality makes me down, I nearly can't stand on my feet once again, how can I prepare the examination and concentrate on reading those books? Every day I have to work, and after work, I'm unwilling to do anything. To pass the examination seems a mission impossible. Ahhh, God give me confidence and wisdom, let me fulfill my dream of being a doctor to do what I like and live a more satisfying life. Only in this way can I get out of this depression of my life. God bless me!
My grandma passed away last month having suffered from a cancer. My grandma's childhood was very painful, because her parents had died very early when she and my grandaunt were children. Since China in those years were very poor, in which people lived poorly and even hungrily, we can imagine what kind of life the two sister led. After she married my grandpa, they had seven children to feed, so their life was tough, for this reason, my grandpa gave up his job, the salary of which was just a basket of potatoes per month that hardly supported the family to be alive. When the generation of her grandchildren was born, my grandma was very kind to us, she would buy some fruit and snack for us, which made us very happy, since our life was not good either. She would rather give the food to us than eat it herself. When she got the disease, she didn't want to waste money so that once she felt a little better, she asked to leave the hospital. During these months, she became thinner and weaker, later she even cannot get up and talk. Finally, she passed away peacefully. I saw my grandma lying there as though she were just sleeping, she was comfortable for she had got rid of the suffering. Wish my grandma happiness in the heaven.
People do their job in order to live a good life, this is naturally. Since last year, I have lost my interest in many things, even what I had liked best before. I have thought life was boring and meaningless. I know a man who loves the life may be happy. I wish myself out of this situation and I am enthusiastic about the life and what I do again, and I wish my future is prosperous and bright, I could give my parents, my wife and my children what they need and a happy life.
I have taken the Ph. D examination twice, and I got the same result, I passed the first examination but failed in the interview, that is, I failed twice. Last year, since I was lost in the depression, I didn't prepare for the examination enough. Actually, by now I feel I'm still in the depression but much better than the year before. I don't know what should I do, continue or give up? To be honest, I want to go on, but I find my emotion is not in a good condition, and I always feel less confident, looking down upon myself. I don't know how to get out of this situation. Again, God help me!